The screensaver on my computer rotates randomly through the photos in my "Pictures" folders. Needless to say, many (most) of these pictures are of Jack. Many times I'll be passing by the laptop or sitting down to do something and be captivated by the photo on the screen. "Awwww, look how cute you were!"
This morning I caught a photo of Jack's first haircut. "Awwww, look how cute you were!"
"Yeah, yeah," groans Jack. "You always say that. Why do you have so many pictures of me when I was a baby?"
"Because you are loved and adored!" I told him.
Loved and adored. It's true. I waited a very long time for my baby. Motherhood was my heart's desire for many, many years before my prayers were finally answered. I was over the moon when I found out our baby was on the way. The morning he was born felt like Christmas in September. No baby was ever more loved, adored or wanted than was our Jack. I could be moved to tears just listening to him breath over the baby monitor. My little miracle boy!
I remember hearing a friend gush about her new baby, "It's like a new love. It's like that new boyfriend that you're just madly in love with and want to spend every minute of every day with. When you're away from him, you miss him and can't wait to get back to him. It's like that." When Jack was born, I knew exactly what she meant.
I used to stare at him in amazement as he slept or played on the floor, marveling that this beautiful little person was ours. I remember being so surprised that the love for your own child could be so different than the love you feel for other people's children: nieces and nephews, your friends' babies. Not that I loved any of them less, but the love I felt for this little person was so overwhelming! I would walk through fire for him. I can't be the only mommy feeling sorry for the other mommies at the playground because their kid wasn't as cute as mine, can I?
My point in telling you all this is not to say that I love my child more than anybody else. I know other parents are reading this who love their amazing children in exactly the same way. I'm so proud to be a part of that community. I just wanted to share this with you so you could nod your head and say, "I know, right?!"*
*Currently Jack's favorite expression. :-)